Funny T-Shirts from Around the Web


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Che Selleck T-Shirt

Che Selleck T-Shirt$24.00

Che Selleck T-Shirt. Many people know the name Che Guevara, but few know his full story. Che was a prominent figure in the Cuban Revolution, as well as a guerrilla warrior who helped lead rebellions in South America and elsewhere. After his execution, he became a martyred hero by leftists worldwide. Lesser known is his […]

Slashing Pines T-Shirt

Slashing Pines T-Shirt$24.00

Slashing Pines T-Shirt. Welcome to Slashing Pines Summer Camp! Now that your parents are gone, let’s go over a few ground rules. 1. No talking to Crazy Ralph, the local halfwit who sometimes drops by to tell us we’re all doomed. He’s clearly crazy and should not be taken seriously. 2. If you sneak away […]

Rock Me Amadeus T-Shirt

Rock Me Amadeus T-Shirt$24.00

Rock Me Amadeus T-Shirt. Sure, he’s one of the greatest and most prolific composers in the history of Western music, but can you just imagine what Mozart could have done with a keytar? Think about it. The guy wrote 27 concertos that redefined what music could be, using a regular oldpiano. Now strap him to an […]

That’s a Terrible Idea T-Shirt

That’s a Terrible Idea T-Shirt$24.00

That’s a Terrible Idea T-Shirt. Wow. That’s a terrible idea you just had. I’m not even going to humor you — that was epically bad. I’m actually kind of impressed. I couldn’t think of a worse idea if you gave me the week off. Seriously, though, that was like the Citizen Kane of bad ideas. It would […]

It’s Not Me It’s You T-Shirt

It’s Not Me It’s You T-Shirt$24.00

It’s Not Me It’s You T-Shirt. Listen, we need to talk. I think you’re great. A really sweet person. But I think we need some space for a while. I’m in a weird place in my life, and I’m just not ready to commit to a longterm relationship. It’s not you, it’s me. Oh, who […]

Thumb Wrestling Champ T-Shirt

Thumb Wrestling Champ T-Shirt$24.00

Thumb Wrestling Champ T-Shirt. They say this guy’s the undefeated World Champ of Thumb Wrestling, and it’s easy to see why. Not a single person has been able to beat his special “sneak attack” maneuver. It happens so quick that if you’re not looking closely you might miss it. We’ll slow the footage down so […]

MacArthur Returns T-Shirt

MacArthur Returns T-Shirt$24.00

MacArthur Returns T-Shirt. It’s one of the most iconic images of WWII. General MacArthur sloshing ashore in the Philippines, where he swore he would return two years earlier. But you may not know that the photo was one of many taken that day. MacArthur loved the scene so much, he ordered his crew to repeat […]

Hang In There T-Shirt

Hang In There T-Shirt$24.00

Hang In There T-Shirt. Chin up, little guy! Hang in there! Everything’s gonna be OK! Because you’ve got determination. You’re a sloth, dammit! Forget what they say — you’re the most determined animal on Earth. You’re like nature’s version of the freaky kid in school that all the bullies pick on. You’re slow as molasses […]

Viva La Cake T-Shirt

Viva La Cake T-Shirt$24.00

Viva La Cake T-Shirt. We know she’s got a shaky reputation, but Marie Antoinette had a point with the whole “Let them eat cake” idea. I mean, if someone was like, “You have a choice of this piece of bread or this piece of double-layer pumpkin cheesecake,” what peasant in their right mind would choose […]

Parking Cop Payback T-Shirt

Parking Cop Payback T-Shirt$24.00

Parking Cop Payback T-Shirt. Well ain’t this some stuff — a little taste of your own medicine! Nope, sorry, I can’t take the boot off — I only have the power to put them on. Oh, I’m sure it’s all a huge misunderstanding. All you need to do is call the number on the tickets, […]

SS Italiano T-Shirt

SS Italiano T-Shirt$24.00

SS Italiano T-Shirt. Here are the original blueprints for the SS Italiano, a concept for a WWII-era American submarine. Legend has it the idea originated when a Navy engineer took a lunch order for an “Italian sub sandwich” too literally. The groundbreaking — some might say toogroundbreaking — design of the sub called for a “coldcut […]

Water You Scared Of? T-Shirt

Water You Scared Of? T-Shirt$24.00

Water You Scared Of? T-Shirt. MYTH: Octopuses are great swimmers. FACT: Most octopuses (or octopi, depending on your preference) are terrible swimmers, and even scared of water. This has come to light recently, as scientists who study these enigmatic creatures have discovered octopuses wearing training floats (or “floaties”) as well as goggles and occasionally flippers. […]

Stay Puft Radar T-Shirt

Stay Puft Radar T-Shirt$20.00

Stay Puft Radar T-Shirt. Stand fast! We’re picking something up on the radar. That’s not like any MIG I’ve seen before. It looks like some kind of life form. A round… pudgy life form. Unless my eyes deceive me, it appears to be made of giant, conjoined marshmallows. And wearing a… sailor cap? Oh no!! […]

Checks Cashed T-Shirt

Checks Cashed T-Shirt$20.00

Checks Cashed T-Shirt. Responding to calls to provide financial rescue for working families and homeowners, the House passed a bill yesterday allowing the government to offer high-interest payday loans and check cashing. “We know a lot of you are wondering if you’ll have money to pay the next utility bill or put food on your […]

Soccer T-Shirt

Soccer T-Shirt$20.00

Soccer T-Shirt. I just got back from my first soccer match in England, and, boy, was it crazy! People told me that soccer is a nuanced game of subtlety and finesse, but I did not find that to be the case. Maybe I was focusing too much on the parts of the stadium that were […]

NSA Tape Recorder T-Shirt

NSA Tape Recorder T-Shirt$20.00

NSA Tape Recorder T-Shirt. Responding to widespread criticism of its controversial surveillance programs, the National Security Agency yesterday unveiled its new “Tell (on) a Friend” program. Under the new campaign, citizens will be rewarded for referring friends and family to the agency. Of particular interest are friends and family who exhibited “quirky or interesting” behavior. […]

North Pole Vacation T-Shirt

North Pole Vacation T-Shirt$20.00

North Pole Vacation T-Shirt. Looking for a winter getaway offering sun and solitude? Willing to settle for one out of two? Come to the North Pole! Here at 90 North latitude, we’ve got it all, including: • The world’s second-largest Elf-powered workshop (watch out, Scandinavia!) • A panoply of wildlife, including polar bears, birds that […]

MUNI T-Shirt

MUNI T-Shirt$20.00

MUNI T-Shirt. New in town? Here are some tips and rules to ensure a safe and pleasant MUNI ride: 1. No radios are allowed on MUNI. Apparently that doesn’t apply to the linebacker-shaped gentleman who just sat next to you with his boombox. (We hope you like Too Short.) 2. Do not distract the driver […]

Baboons Typing T-Shirt

Baboons Typing T-Shirt$20.00

Baboons Typing T-Shirt. Dan Brown’s highly anticipated new novel hit a snag on Tuesday when the “Da Vinci Code” author realized that the 50 monkeys he purchased to write the novel were, in fact, vicious baboons. According to one of Brown’s human assistants, the author realized the error within seconds of opening the first crate. […]

F Your Good Ol’ Days T-Shirt

F Your Good Ol’ Days T-Shirt$20.00

F Your Good Ol’ Days T-Shirt. Hey, Brokaw! I got a few words for your Greatest Generation. Yeah sure, we all owe you thanks for making the world safe for democracy and all. But here are a few other things I’d like to thank you for. Thanks for insufferable, spoiled-asshole baby boomers. Thanks for making […]

Mission Taco T-Shirt

Mission Taco T-Shirt$20.00

Mission Taco T-Shirt. The problem with ranting against “Mission hipsters” is that everyone is one, and nobody admits to being one. We, on the other hand, freely admit guilt. But if you’re still grappling with whether you qualify, here’s a quick test: 1. Do you sometimes call Ritual Roasters “the office?” (Add 1 point.) 2. […]

Police Line T-Shirt

Police Line T-Shirt$20.00

Police Line T-Shirt. Under pressure to find less harmful means of crowd control, police in Portland, Ore. have begun simply using reverse psychology on unruly protesters. The new technique was tested yesterday at a demonstration against a raid of several cannabis clubs. “Attention, citizens! Blocking that crowded thoroughfare during rush hour is an excellent way […]

Cro-Magnum T-Shirt

Cro-Magnum T-Shirt$20.00

Cro-Magnum T-Shirt. They don’t make cops like Hairy Cromagnum anymore. And that’s not just because the last of his species died 10,000 years ago. See, Hairy is another kind endangered species: a tough-as-nails detective who makes his own rules. And now he faces an enemy more treacherous than a crazed mammoth: pencil pushing bureaucrats who […]

Bingebot T-Shirt

Bingebot T-Shirt$20.00

Bingebot T-Shirt. Suffering from flagging sales of its robotic vacuum, the company iAutomaton has introduced a new product aimed at college students. The Bingebot 2100 does not clean, cook, or even perform simple calculations. Its sole purpose is getting loaded. “Finally there’s a lifestyle robot that addresses what people age 18-to-22 want — namely, a […]

Cloud City T-Shirt

Cloud City T-Shirt$20.00

Cloud City T-Shirt. You know the scenario. Your buddy from the midwest visits you in February, thinking California is one big, sun-soaked beach. He steps off the plane in cargo shorts and flip flops. Much to his dismay, the weather turns out to be more Scotland than San Diego. So he spends the rest of […]

I Hammer/Sickle the 80s T-Shirt

I Hammer/Sickle the 80s T-Shirt$20.00

I Hammer/Sickle the 80s T-Shirt. I think I speak for most of my generation when I say, “Bring Back the 80s!” Everything about the 80s was better. The hair was bigger. Jeans were more stonewashed. T-shirts could change color when you touched them. And about the only thing a kid had to worry about was […]

I Heart SF T-Shirt

I Heart SF T-Shirt$20.00

I Heart SF T-Shirt. Wait, where’s my bike? I thought I parked it where that mangled tire is sitting. Huh? Nah, son, that can’t be it. Wait… Maybe that is it. Oh, f**k, that’s totally it! I forgot about the stupid quick-release! Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!! What do I do? Should I call 9-1-1? They must […]

You’re Not My Type T-Shirt

You’re Not My Type T-Shirt$20.00

You’re Not My Type T-Shirt. Tired of being groped by icky Eurotrash who don’t speak the language of “NO?” Do you get swarmed by Taiwanese businessmen every time you go out for karaoke? Is there a deaf stalker in your life who doesn’t know the sign for “restraining order?” No need to fear! Now there’s […]

Sewer Gator T-Shirt

Sewer Gator T-Shirt$20.00

Sewer Gator T-Shirt. A rash of alligator attacks in New York City has prompted officials to declare an all-out emergency. Yesterday, Mayor Bloomberg announced the appointment of the city’s first “Gator Czar.” Long thought to be merely an urban legend, New York’s “sewer gators” were proven all too real last May when a 10-footer jumped […]

Progress Is Overrated T-Shirt

Progress Is Overrated T-Shirt$20.00

Progress Is Overrated T-Shirt. As any child laborer during the Industrial Revolution could attest, progress can be highly overrated. But one needn’t spend their youth toiling 19-hour days in a boot polish factory to see this. Take portable music players. Sure, it’s great to have my entire library stored on a pocket-sized gizmo. But where’s […]

Stalin: I Voted T-Shirt

Stalin: I Voted T-Shirt$20.00

Stalin: I Voted T-Shirt. Under criticism for reverting to a more authoritarian form of government — evidenced by disputed elections and media crackdowns — Russia’s ruling party has begun a marketing blitz to promote the image of a free and fair democracy. But the results have been spotty. One notable failure has been a “hip” […]

Knight Drummer T-Shirt

Knight Drummer T-Shirt$20.00

Knight Drummer T-Shirt. Sir Mick Jagger. Sir Paul McCartney. Sir Elton John. All these guys have been knighted by the Queen. But is that the best we can do for a rock star knight? Talented performers, yes, but these dandified relics are not our idea of a knight. (Seriously, what’s Mick gonna do, prance you to death?) […]

The Political Mind T-Shirt

The Political Mind T-Shirt$20.00

The Political Mind T-Shirt. After a groundbreaking two-year study, scientists at the Princeton Neuroscience Institute announced today that they have made critical breakthroughs in understanding the political mind. In addition to the four major lobes of a normal brain, researchers found that many politicians have a fifth lobe, comprised of a mysterious “brown matter.”

Don’t You Like Clowns T-Shirt

Don’t You Like Clowns T-Shirt$20.00

Don’t You Like Clowns T-Shirt. Hey, kid! Come here for a sec. I’ve got a trick I wanna show you. What’s the matter? You don’t like the funny man? What do you mean, you don’t like clowns?! Let me tell you something: As sure as my breath smells like Early Times and vomit, EVERYBODY LOVES CLOWNS! Clowns […]

Wake Me When It’s Time To Rock T-Shirt

Wake Me When It’s Time To Rock T-Shirt$20.00

Wake Me When It’s Time To Rock T-Shirt. You know what would be nice? If someone — anyone — could just please fucking ROCK already. Remember rock? Good for you, because I sure don’t. Ever since these waify emo guys and their wintery beards hijacked the airwaves, life has seemed like an endless Shins concert. Times were, […]

Subliminal Eye Chart T-Shirt

Subliminal Eye Chart T-Shirt$20.00

Subliminal Eye Chart T-Shirt. Is your vision 20/20? How about your paranoia-vision? Now you can challenge onlookers to test their vision with the eye chart everyone should read. As the famous saying goes, “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.” We couldn’t have said it better ourselves, though we could […]

Kim Jong-il / Facebook T-Shirt

Kim Jong-il / Facebook T-Shirt$20.00

Kim Jong-il / Facebook T-Shirt. The Korean Central News Agency announced today that Kim Jong-il accepted an invitation from Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to join the “Axis of Evil” group on Facebook. Sources say this is the third group Ahmadinejad has asked Kim Jong-il to join, the last two being “The Western Satan Is A […]

Run Dammit T-Shirt

Run Dammit T-Shirt$20.00

Run Dammit T-Shirt. That’s right, go ahead. Run. Run if it makes you happy. But I’ll tell you something: You can run all day, and you can run all night, but it won’t change the face that what you’re really running from are your feelings. And you can’t hide from your fee– Oh wait I […]

Reallife T-Shirt

Reallife T-Shirt$20.00

Reallife T-Shirt. Look out, Facebook! A new social networking phenomenon is sweeping the nation. The revolutionary Reallife allows users to “do things” and have actual “human to human contact.” Much like Facebook, users can add “friends” to their Reallife profile. However, unlike Facebook, “friends” do not include the wheezy kid you vaguely remember from camp, […]

Limited Edition T-Shirt

Limited Edition T-Shirt$20.00

Limited Edition T-Shirt. We’re better than you. We just are. If you have to ask why, that just proves our point. Are those factory-issue Nikes you’re wearing? Mmm, that’s cute. Ours are custom-designed by a graffiti artist in Lagos who paints with live snakes and has never been seen in public. The leather is made […]

Worthy Adversary T-Shirt

Worthy Adversary T-Shirt$20.00

Worthy Adversary T-Shirt. There are many dangerous game animals. The Bengal tiger. The Cape buffalo. The grizzly bear. The rabid skunk. But the most dangerous “game animal” of all is not one you’ll find mounted on any hunter’s wall. What is this game I speak of? Wait, did you say, “man?” Oh jeez, I didn’t […]

King Tut Kanye Glasses T-Shirt

King Tut Kanye Glasses T-Shirt$20.00

King Tut Kanye Glasses T-Shirt. The King Tut exhibit now on display has some nice surprises for anyone interested in the notorious Egyptian pharaoh. All of the signature elements of Tut’s tomb are there, including his mask and royal diadem. But so are lesser-known items, such as the pharaoh’s prized Kanye glasses, as well as […]

California Flag T-Shirt

California Flag T-Shirt$20.00

California Flag T-Shirt. More than 150 years after it was first created, California’s storied “Bear Flag” is undergoing some changes. “The bear had a great run, but we wanted something that symbolized the outdoor lifestyle that our state is known for,” said California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. “So we put the bear on a bicycle.” Schwarzenegger […]

Squirrels Squirrels Squirrels T-Shirt

Squirrels Squirrels Squirrels T-Shirt$20.00

Squirrels Squirrels Squirrels T-Shirt. As part of his effort to keep the forest a family place, Mayor Brownbear announced a plan to clean up the notorious Nutpacking District, a stretch of hollow trees known for its “exotic squirrel” clubs. Under the mayor’s proposal, clubs that allow heavy petting would hereby be prohibited from selling birdseed. […]

Make My Day T-Shirt

Make My Day T-Shirt$20.00

Make My Day T-Shirt. “Speak softly and carry a big stick,” that’s what I always say. But if you don’t have a stick, an enormous gun will also do. So without further ado, please to meet my friends, “Mr. Smith” and “Mr. Wesson.” (For all you Commie peacemongers out there, that’s a metaphor for my […]

Goose Top Gun T-Shirt

Goose Top Gun T-Shirt$20.00

Goose Top Gun T-Shirt. Talk to me, Goose… Talk to me, Goose!! Ah, there you are. Yup, you’re clearly a “Goose.” You’re a fiercely loyal wingman (or wingwoman) — whether it be in a jet or at the bar. But make no mistake, you’re nobody’s sidekick. You’re too much of a free spirit for that. Granted, you […]

Size Matters T-Shirt

Size Matters T-Shirt$20.00

Size Matters T-Shirt. Sure, the name “Size Matters” might be a little suggestive. One might even call it crass. But that’s kind of how we are. Or more accurately, that’s how you are. That’s right! Because as those of you who follow us on Facebook know, this is our first-ever t-shirt named by you, the fans. (Well, one […]

Say Tweet Again T-Shirt

Say Tweet Again T-Shirt$20.00

Say Tweet Again T-Shirt. Jules is trying, Ringo. He’s trying real hard to be the shepherd. But this whole Twitter-lution thing is really getting to him. All this talk of “tweeple” and “twiggits” and “tweekends” is unfamiliar to him. It makes him nervous. And when he gets nervous, he gets scared. And when he gets […]

Moon Flamingo T-Shirt

Moon Flamingo T-Shirt$20.00

Moon Flamingo T-Shirt. Everyone knows about the first moon landing, and everyone knows about Apollo 13. But many forget that there were five other moon missions. It became so routine that NASA had to get creative to maintain viewer interest. Most famously, Alan Shepard hit a golf ball on the moon during Apollo 14. But […]

Ice Cube’s A Pimp T-Shirt

Ice Cube’s A Pimp T-Shirt$20.00

Ice Cube’s A Pimp T-Shirt. You ever have one of those good days? Like, you wake up and there’s no barking dog, no smog, and your mom’s cooking breakfast with no hog. (I don’t know, it rhymed.) You go play hoops with your friends, and you’re just messing around but you end up getting a […]